For the first time in years, I’m really not looking forward to April. Thinking about it is depressing. So to lift my spirits, I’m going to unnecessarily raise things to nerdy level. (See graph below.)

NOTE: The (above) graph is scientific in looks alone; I extrapolated “data” based from my memories. Since I’m confined to numerical values to express my feelings, I decided to measure “happiness” via changes in Utility, where positive values are approaching a “profoundly ecstatic” state.

I started following the Dodgers after my brother-in-law took me to my first game in ‘97. I was 12 and had an AOL account, which meant I could spend countless hours online stalking player profiles and tracking wins and losses.

Unfortunately, baseball took a back banner during the early aughts — I spent most of my time thoroughly stalking Jason Williams and the Sacramento Kings. [Also: I am not proud.] During their prime (circa 1999-2003, Box A), my interest in baseball plateaued as I invested my time and energy elsewhere. That is, until Chris Webber was traded to the 76’ers in ‘04. And although I was happy for Corliss Williamson’s return to Sacto, it was not enough to keep my interest piqued.

Around the same time, the Dodgers made the playoffs, and (more importantly) the Red Sox won the World Series — on a wild card! — and just like that, the curse was lifted. Life was full of rainbows and lollipops; a green monster, reborn.

FFWD to October 2009: I was nonetheless pleased with a Yankees loss despite having my dream for a potential LA-LA World Series squashed. Plus, Chase Utley was super cute (that is, until this happened). Things were looking up for Los Angeles, especially after appearing in both the NLCS and ALCS that year.

FFWD to NOW: The Giants won the World Series. If you would’ve told me that eight months ago, I would’ve called you a fool.

Torre’s out and Mattingly’s in. Mommy and daddy are still fighting for custody. Matt Kemp’s got 99 problems, Rihanna’s was one. And how did the blossoming career of Russel Martin* wilt so fast?

And where does this put me? I admittedly rooted for the Giants last October. They played a good game and were the least annoying team in the playoffs — yes, that means you Texas Rangers! (Yeah, that’s right Nolan Ryan.) I’m plumetting towards the -ΔU territory and unless LA gives me a reason to think blue, I’ll continue to sing the blues. Belle & Sebastian’s “The Blues Are Still Blues” to be exact.

“Yeahhh…!”

*Martin changed his jersey to “J. Martin” in 2009 to honour his mother. It is also the point at which his career went downhill. BTW R(J)M, your mom is disappointed in you.

ALSO: oldtimefamilybaseball:

For previous recaps, click here.

Record: 80-82, 4th place in the NL West

Disappointment:  Call it the Rihanna effect, a regression to the mean, or just plain laziness, but on a team of underachievers no one drew the ire of Dodgers fans quite like Matt Kemp.

Defining Moment: The Divorce.

Diller Scofidio + Renfro finally unveiled their concept for the Broad and I automatically thought of Jeanne Gang’s “Aqua” in Chicago. I kind of like it.

Located on the corner of 2nd and Grand in Downtown Los Angeles. The gallery’s opening points in the direction of the Disney Concert Hall.

During yesterday’s presentation, Elizabeth Diller discussed how the gallery’s proximity to the Disney Concert Hall would make it impossible for her firm to “compete with the iconic hall.” (Or rather, Gehry’s ego. IMO.) So DS+R went in a completely opposite direction — describing their design as “matte” and “porous.”

Located on the top floor, the gallery’s porous rooftop diffuses natural light to create a “continuous skylight.”

I hear there may be fluidity problems with the internal layout. (Diller hopes to fix this before construction begins.) But other than that, I’m excited for its opening. That way I can forget that Renzo Piano BCAM disaster. Can someone get a Jean Nouvel project in Los Angeles, STAT?