"Kevin": I miss college. Dating is hard when you're a working adult.

Martin: What did you have going for when you were in college??!

"Kevin": I was in a band.

Me: No, you were in a marching band. Different.

"Kevin": Still a band.

Me: For the record, I was never fooled.

Martin: College girls were so easy to deceive, weren't they man?

"Kevin": I hate you.

NOTE: Names were changed in order to salvage their reputation...or whatever "Kevin" has left of it.